Sex positions with sex toys: heating it up for him

Take the missionary position.

It's great because it allows great clitoral stimulation and, with enough leg-movement, deep penetration too.

For the deeper variations on the classic missionary position, watch the Lovers’ Guide Sexual Positions feature – to download or in the shop here.

However, if you want to intensify stimulation and arousal for the guy then adding an anal sex toy can make all the difference.

Some men feel uncomfortable about the idea of anal stimulation. However, if you use a small non-phallic sex toy then this will get around some of the issues – homophobic attitudes linger, even though more and more couples are moving on and realizing ‘bend over boyfriend’ sex play is a lot of fun.

By using a finger vibrator – with a flared base so that it doesn't get lost inside – you have two advantages. Firstly, he won't imagine he's having anal sex with a man, in negative ways – gender and sexuality play can be fun if you're both into it; and secondly, it's small enough such that an anal virgin won't feel physically uncomfortable.

Start by getting the guy to insert the sex toy himself. Use lots of lube. Helping out while he's inserting the toy, using your hand or your mouth on his genitals will be appreciated.

That way he can tailor it to his body, rather than having to deal with a 'left a bit, right a bit' situation with the sex toy, which can be a passion killer. It's also very likely to be a lot faster so you won't end up losing your arousal while you wait for his sphincters to open.

Once the sex toy is inside him, start having sex in the missionary position and press the heel of your hand against the base of the toy. Use one hand around his body in a hug while the other rests against the toy. If he hasn't slid it all the way inside himself, don't press forwards; just keep the sex toy in position. That way he'll get prostate stimulation without feeling under pressure.

As things heat up, press forwards slightly and allow him to push back against you. Before long, you may well find your hand pressed against his perineum with the toy all the way in.

At this point, move your hand so that the heel of your palm is against the toy but your fingers are playing along the base, pressing the sex toy more deeply inside him but also pushing directly into his perineum. That way, you'll be stimulating his prostate from the inside and the outside at once – guaranteed to put a smile on his face.

While having sex, try to angle the sex toy as this will press it more deeply into the prostate. This goes doubly so as he nears orgasm and his prostate swells; be prepared for his eyes to roll back in his head in very good ways. And don't stop as he starts coming; 'milking' a guy's prostate as he starts to come can deliver incredible results.

Once he's stopped having orgasmic spasms, but while he's still calming down, ease the sex toy out. If you wait until he's back in the land of the living then it can be painful, whereas using all the endorphins that are racing around his body to ease sex toy removal is thoughtful.

Kissing and caressing each other after anal penetration is always a good idea as people can feel vulnerable afterwards. And of course, next time, it's your turn to get toys involved for extra fun.

Sex for only one night

Why the man loses interest in one woman after first sexual contact, he follows up another one, even though she ignores him openly? What reasons determine people to choose “sex for one night”?

Sex without pleasure – this is a usual thing nowadays. Both women and men search one-time sex.

The reason is quite clear – the passion is the engine that moves them, but nobody aspires to a serious relationship.

Most often, on-time sex happens because:

- in the first date when people weren’t able to keep the passion or they understand that their relationship will not have a continuation in the future;
- when one partner wishes to keep another one with the help of sex or contacts closer with him;

Why then relationship has already finished for the next day very often?

Safe sex

Safe sex is always better!

In my opinion, it's fun, and you don't have to worry as much!!

Sex Toys

Sex toys cover a broad spectrum of items that are designed to enhance physical pleasure. Because of the variety of items, it's hard to discuss them as a group. Note: we could include things like lingerie and flavored lubricants in this category, and the same considerations apply.

We see no scriptural prohibition on toys, nor any way in which toys violate any scriptural guidelines. In general this is going to be something each couple has to decide for themselves, but below are a few things to consider.

Some items may not be safe to use. For example, there are devices known as penile rings which are placed around the base of the penis to improve or maintain an erection. Most of these rings are safe, but a fixed ring that has no release could be very dangerous if it's too small.

It's also noted by most manufacturers that the rings should not be used for more than 30 minutes at a time. Vacuum devices and anything used to restrain a person also pose potential problems if they are not properly designed and used.

Some items designed to resemble parts of the male or female body are actually "modeled" after a real person, usually an actor or actress from pornographic movies. While it's not clear that this is a sin to use such a product, most Christians are opposed to it for obvious reasons. If an item is not advertised as being modeled after someone, it's just a generic sculpture.

If a sex toy is used, it should be as an enhancement, not the center of attention. If it brings the couple closer, and results in one or both of them enjoying sex more, that is good. If it results in either person feeling badly, that is not good.

The biggest obstacle to sex toys for most Christians is probably finding a way to buy them without being exposed to objectionable products and pornography.

In Europe some items are available in respectable shops, but in most of America this is not the case. Some lingerie shops may have small assortments of toys, but in general most Christian's choices are mail order and web shopping.